How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize