Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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