I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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