A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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