ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
