ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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