Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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