So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
