I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
