make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
