we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
