took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
