Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
