If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
