and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
