week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
