Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
