What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
