i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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