Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
