I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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