You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
