so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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