We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
