I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
