hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
