I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
