bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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