Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
