At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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