This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I need help removing her.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
