no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize