He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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