yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just threw up on my dentist
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Randomize
