i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize