Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
