I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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