is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
