K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
we're so committed to being not committed
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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