If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
