i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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