I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
