morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
