I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
