where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
