my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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