Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You can't special order awesome
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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