his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
