let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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