According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My dick has a subreddit
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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