Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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