a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Randomize