Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
