Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
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