Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i think im in europe. pls send help
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
