I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
