windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize