It's Friday. Sex?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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