I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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