She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
