Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
