That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
