My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
