So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
