On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
