Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
